First and foremost allow me to provide basic background information about myself. Contrary to popular belief, I am by no means a “people person” and my perceived “stand-offish” attitude is generally misinterpreted as personal arrogance. Allow me to correct those self diagnosing wanna-be psychologists who most likely completed a single psychology course with a “C” grade average. I am extremely introverted. Get over it and by all means, please pursue an alternate profession within your obvious limited intellectual prowess.

To make matters more entertaining, my employer financially encourages me to function within a multi-tier “customer support” environment, providing computer technical assistance to those better suited for Crayola Crayons than Dell central processing units. If your intelligence quotient is slightly above average I am certain you see where we are going with this. If you are one of those unfortunate few that rode the “small yellow bus” to school each day, please click www.crayola.com for alternate means of adolescent entertainment.

Initially, my intentions were orchestrated in such fashion; never write about the strange and obscure questions received during an average day. However, considering my sanity is slowly spiraling out of control and into obscurity, writing seems to be the only valid solution to regain personal sense of humor. In essence, I prefer not to be heavily medicated or seek therapy from local physicians of horizontal interrogation to maintain some semblance of normalcy. Whatever normal may be considering our current geographic location and predicament. So, as sanity safety valve, I believe it’s my moral imperative to vent personal frustrations rather than consume mass quantities of mind altering beverages. Enjoy…

To the right, is a list of my favorite customers and some of the amazing and mind boggling conversations: