| I Can't Access a Website...
The following conversation actually transpired. Although some content was edited to reduce reading time or space allocation, the basic concept is present and not altered. As God, Satan, Buddha, Jehovah, David Koresh, or Allah as my witness, I can't make this shit up...
THE PHONE CALL:
Customer: I am having a problem accessing a website. Can you help me?
Me: What type problem?
Customer: I get an error message.
Me: What does the error message say?
Customer: Ummm, not sure. Something like... Can't open something.
Me: Can't open something?
Customer: Yeah, that's the one...
Me: Could you give me the exact error message?
Customer: Now?
Me: Yes, sir. now. (thinking to myself; "Where is my home euthanasia kit")
Customer: Well, I'm not sitting at a computer.
Me: Can you find one? (throwing sharp objects across the room at this point)
Customer: No.
Me: No? Hmmmm, ok... What website were you attempting to access?
Customer: I'm not sure, but, my boss told me to go there to do something.
Me: Thinking to myself... "I now understand why lions eat their young..."
Me: So, let me see if I fully understand your request; “You want me to resolve an unknown error message you receive while surfing an unknown website, while attempting to perform an unknown task. However, you are currently unable to use a computer and duplicate this error for me to resolve? Is this correct, sir?
Customer: Yes! Can you help? (Shows basic signs of life and enthusiasm)
Me: Ahhhh, no...
I believe this is were I slowly walked out of our office and into the sunlight while mumbling something along the lines of; "I'm going to go quietly cut my wrists now..." |
