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GTMO Gamers...
Are you ready for some Halo III |
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| Posted: 09/07/2007 |
 First and foremost, this discussion has nothing to do with being critical of gamers. So please, I honestly don’t want to hear your whining again about how I successfully managed to shatter another overly sensitive techie personality. If fragile ego best describes your personality, please progress to an alternate diversion, such as Disney.
For the record, I don’t particularly like computers and never attempted to play any game on-line or within multi-person environment. Yes, I know this is generally considered blasphemous within the techie and gaming realm, however, get over it and by all means move on.
Very uncharacteristic of my introverted personality, I recently visited a co-worker’s home after business hours and witnessed a phenomenon within Guantanamo Bay, never seen before by this geriatric and sheltered soul. Gamers...
Yes, I know they exist, and have actually read several periodicals outlining their behavioral patterns. Nevertheless, I have never actually witnessed them in their natural habit. Additionally, I quickly learned not to attempt communication with this species during their multi-player Halo-3 interaction, let alone feed or pet one of them. Please be advised boys and girls, they bite or snarl unintelligible remarks when interrupted...
On this rare occasion, I was actually permitted to witness 3 gamers in their natural habitat and engaged in, what they referred to as, daily nocturnal carnage ritual. Technically, this translates into; shooting the hell out of each other for hours on end... Although, I initially believed I knew all 3 gamers by name, it turns out, after normal working hours and the sun sets into the west, these three transform into; Baja, Lendog, and Abby-something-or-other. It’s actually and amazing metamorphosis.
What I discovered and witnessed was, this assemblage of bi-pedal carbon-based units, huddle together in a dimly lit environment, while multiple television monitors glow and display rapid graphic images of Halo 3. Pure unadulterated carnage... Each gamer aggressively engaged in a multi-player, take no prisoner, every man for themselves free for all. About the only comprehensible vocabulary witnessed included such intelligent phrases as; What the fuck... Nice shot ass hole... Whoooooa... and Cool, let’s do that again...
Dietary habits seem relatively standard regarding the gaming species. Fruits and vegetables do not enter into the equation however are substituted for pizza, varying forms of pre-packaged chips, and mandatory Mountain Dew.
After careful deliberation and 15 minutes on Google, it’s believed the pizza and chips perpetuate a vegetative state necessary to hibernate and remain stationary for extended time periods while gaming. Additionally, the caffeine in Mountain Dew seems to stimulates brain cells required for concentration and mandatory zombie-like hypnotic state.
Even if my hypothesis possesses flaw, this group was still worth the price of admission to watch from a safe vantage perspective. |
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| Classification : Unclassified |
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