Butterfly Chips:

A couple are driving along the freeway and the husband is bitching and complaining about everything. The heat, the long drive, the bad drivers, the country, etc.

His wife is getting tired of his depressing talk, so she says to him: "For twenty years I've listened to your constant whining, one more complaint and I'll cut your penis off with my pen- knife."

About half an hour later, he starts complaining again and before he could blink his wife pulls out her knife, slices the guy's dick off, and throws it out the window.

Driving behind the couple's car is a family of three : husband, wife, and 6 year old daughter. The penis lands on their car's windshield, and the father, in an absolute panic, quickly turns on the windshield wipers to get it off the windshield and out of view of his daughter.

The observant daughter asks, "Daddy, what was that?"

Her father, still in a panic, says, "Oh, it was only a . . . uh . . . a butterfly."

"Wow!" replied the daughter. "Did you see the size of its dick?"