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Politically Incorrect and Morally Bankrupt Content...
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Ponderisms:
(Special thanks to Wysonia Shockley, of GTMO fame, for this contribution...)
- I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
- Garden Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you areremoving a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comesout of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
- The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy areplacement.
- There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.
- Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
- The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
- Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
- Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no onetalks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
- Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
- All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays noattention to criticism.
- In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the worldis weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
- How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes awhole box to start a campfire?
- Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
- Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt."
- If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song abouthim?
- Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
- If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come frommorons?
- Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
- Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
- Do you ever wonder why you gave me your email address?
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Graphics by: w@r10ck