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- Never argue with an idiot. They shall only drag you down to their personal level and beat you with experience.
- I ain't as good as I once was, but, I'm as good once, as I ever was...
- You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, "My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!"
- What happens if a big asteroid hits Earth? Judging from realistic simulations involving a sledge hammer and a common laboratory frog, we can assume it will be pretty bad.
- The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery.
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