Working here has provided hours of morose entertainment regarding our definition of “military intelligence.” Inquiring minds want to know, does military intelligence really exist or is it another unsolved Loch Ness Monster myth? This elite collection of camouflage populating Guantanamo often appears to possess the cumulative intelligence of the common house plant or single celled organism. Sadly, this also includes those that garnish brass instead of stripes. Nevertheless, for what it’s worth, this is the Greatest Show on Earth and definitely worth the price of admission to watch from a very safe perspective.

After extended and relentless exposure to camouflage, I have come to the inevitable conclusion; if not for bacteria, this special group would have no culture in their life. Nevertheless, just remember boys and girls, do not attempt to feed these bipedal phenomena, it only encourages their antics and they begin to flock like buzzards to carrion.

After almost two years relegated to Satan’s perdition, I have discovered, “If my mind is idled, it becomes the Devil’s advocate.” Basically stated and reduced to simplest form, if not perpetually amused with some form of adolescent diversion, Timmy becomes creative. As example, for savage amusement and solidify personal hypothesis, “military intelligence is an oxymoron,” I once asked a “self-proclaimed” scholarly GTMO sailor; “OK, so what's the speed of dark?” Sadly, our boy genius scurried off to Google the non-existent answer. Please don’t introduce Quantum Physics and tell me, the speed of vacuumed light = 299,792,458 m/s, and dark is absence of light which theoretically makes them synonymous...